Central Quarters: early evening—I can see her among the crowd.
Since childhood, I am known to be somewhat timid. It’s a very annoying trait that I’ve always wanted to get rid of, but have never succeeded.
Shyness is stupid, you know. It prevents you from getting what you want for virtually no reason but one: the fear of rejection.
Like when that girl you‘re fond of is sitting alone next to an empty seat.
The girl is no stranger to you — she’s kind, she’s funny, she’ll happily talk with you for hours because really, you know that she likes you too. All you have to do is ask how she’s doing, and the conversation will flow effortlessly. But you ended up not doing anything, just because you were too shy to say hi.
See? It sucks.
24-hour Diner: late evening — What are these people doing?
Often people pretend to like things they don’t, in hopes of pleasing their peers.
Like that sweet-tooth trying to convince her friends that she‘s into the taste of coffee — when she can’t even tell the difference between latte and americano. Or the guy that thinks he’s so awesome just because he uses a film camera — when he doesn’t have the slightest clue on how to utilize the exposure triangle.
Some things are socially preferable while others aren’t. That’s why so many people act like someone they’re not. It’s quite saddening to see all these false facades.
Apparently, looking cool in the eyes of society is so important it justifies fraud.
Don’t listen to me if you don’t want to; but contrary to popular belief, being genuine is actually one of the coolest thing there is.
Casa Dolce Casa: an hour after sunset —The house is empty.
Like almost everyone I know, I like to travel. Any place I haven’t been to is a place I want to set foot on. Whether it’s a metropolis, a secluded village, a foreign country, a faraway island, a mountain’s summit — anywhere, really.
But there’s always some kind of reason to keep me separated from my wanderlust. They’re all small, trivial stuff. Like the lack of free time, shortage of funds, or the absence of a companion.
Sometimes I’m tempted to just ignore them altogether, and just go wherever I want, whenever I want. Even when I have no time, no money, and no friend. I’ve heard stories about people traveling around the world without any of those. I’ve even seen and conversed with some of them.
Maybe most of those tales sound too good to be true, but truthfully they’re not some far-fetched fantasy. They’re actually realizable, you just need the will to make any effort that’s required. You only need the courage to begin.
Regrettably, I’m still not brave enough — for now.
A Cafe’s Veranda: around midnight — It’s raining.
This city is not located on some unforgiving hyperborean realm. Not even Alaska, or Yukon. The local’s idea for cold is not heavy snowfall on a random winter day. Chilly highland air and the occasional downpour is about as freezing as it gets.
But hey, who cares about climate and weather. Most of the time we’re too distracted by what’s happening inside anyway. You know, a bit of frostbite feels kind of superficial compared to the blizzard we call melancholy and loneliness.
There’s no denying that the temperature is low and the ground is drenched. But that’s not what we tend to remember the most about a rainy night, right?
Outer Quarters: late afternoon — The last class of the day has just ended.
College is a funny place — and a funny phase too. It’s like a lifetime-worth of lessons crammed into a short four-years span.
You can and will learn about everything there is to learn. The list is filled with all things small and big alike. Some are quite simple and straightforward, while others might feel drop-dead impossible.
At a certain point, it can seem like somehow you figured out the way to do everything as it should be — yet you keep failing miserably. You’re repeatedly thrown back to square one, obliged to trace your steps and find which intersection led you to the false end.
The funny thing is, even after discovering where you took a wrong turn, sometimes you still knowingly decide to proceed on the same route.
In the midst of all the muddle, time and time again you put a question mark on everything you can and cannot see.
Odin, 27th of Decem
If these ramblings don’t make sense to you, maybe you’re just not meant to understand it anyway.